In2-MeC

Kolhapur, Maharastra
24 January 2003

What hope is there then, when our gaining ideal qualities seems but a hopeless dream?

Read this excerpt from HH Satsvarupa dasa Gosvamis From Imperfection Purity Will Come About. It's about making our very hopelessness our prayer for salvation.

Rupa Gosvami's verse states that one who can control these urges [tongue,belly, genital, mind, anger, and words] is a gosvami and is capable of accepting disciples all over the world. But Bhaktivinoda Thakura doesn't claim he is such a gosvami. "After great endeavor to subdue these material demands, I have completely given up all hope. O Lord of the destitute, I call upon Your holy name, for now You are my only shelter" (Saranagati 7. 1. 4). He has turned the verse into a personal prayer. Let us remember the Upadesamrta text in this way.

We sometimes quote it as evidence of one who is qualified to be a spiritual master. Or we assert, "I am following the rules. I control these urges. So consider me a gosvami". But we cannot ultimately control ourselves; we can only endeavor and pray, because our minds, tongues, bellies, and genitals are banded together against us. Our tongue speaks nonsense. Please, Lord of the poor, give us Your shelter.

Similarly, Bhaktivinoda Thakura takes the statement of items which are unfavorable for devotional service and he turns it into his personal prayer. "I have not been able to give up any of these attachments. Thus my own faults have been my downfall. " It is nice to study these faults from an objective distance, "One should avoid these. " But it is also powerful to come close to them and openly admit, I have these and they are spoiling my life. The list of entanglements comes alive and we confess. We have been giving a lecture on unfavorable items to one's execution of service. Now we admit our own wrongs.

"O Lord Hari, what am I to do now? I am indeed fallen; but Your holy name is the savior of the fallen. Clinging to that holy name, I have taken shelter at Your lotus feet" (Saranagati 7. 2. 3-4)

Wait a minute, why so freely say that you are guilty? What has proved you wrong? Do you actually commit atyaharah prayasas ca prajalpo niyamagraha? Jana-sangas ca laulyam ca? Yes, sometimes greedy, sometimes eating more than necessary and collecting more funds than necessary. I definitely practice the rules only for the sake of following them. These items are not only a list of what the fools and nondevotees do. Srila Prabhupada writes, "Every intelligent man should purify his consciousness and rid himself of the above mentioned hindrances to devotional service by taking whole-hearted shelter of this Krsna consciousness movement" (NOI, text 2, purport). ISKCON can free us. So you, I mean I--are we taking shelter?

As for the six principles favorable to the execution of devotional service beginning with utsaha, Bhaktivinoda Thakura says, "I have never possessed these six devotional qualities. " Saranagati means making the confession. You look in your heart and find yourself wanting. Saranagati means to drop the pose. With honest scrutiny we can see we are still dancing with maya. We can check the bad qualities off as in a private questionnaire, "Yes. Sometimes. Yes. All the time. Yes, I think of doing it. " When good qualities are mentioned--and sometimes the interviewers remind us to be honest--his pencil checks off, "No. Rarely. Not so often. "

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura writes, "Absorbed in abominable activities, I never kept company with sadhus. Now I adopt the garb of the sadhus and instruct others. This is maya's big joke" (Saranagati 7. 3. 3). Who has that power to look within and admit the truth? Who is so liberated that he can accept criticism from others, "You don't have patience. You don't seem confident in the process of devotional service. " And who has the power to see himself as a hypocrite for instructing others even though he is not himself free? "O Lord Hari, in such a helpless condition surely I will obtain Your causeless mercy. O when, under the shelter of my spiritual master, will I call out to You with humble prayers?" (Saranagati 7. 3. 4).

You mean we should go around admitting we are hypocrites and can't follow the basic instructions of the Nectar of Instruction? We should be honest. We don't have to "go around" announcing anything. Know it within yourself and act accordingly. Engage confidentially in the process of anartha-nivrtti and develop good qualities. Live the Nectar of Instruction.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

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